Chasing the Sun / This Week

Hello!

This week has been amazing. Amazing, reviving, freezing and incredible.

The start of this week was difficult. Everything was becoming too much. I felt so overwhelmed, stuck in the past, even though not much was going on. Brains are just troublesome sometimes.


Mid-week, the field trip for my Terrestrial Ecology class begun. It was for measuring species abundance, distribution and basal area across two different forests in the middle of nowhere. We measured and calculated hundreds of plants, saw wetas and the cutest birds, hiked through a heck of a lot of forest, climbed a mountain, and had an amazing time.

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(A Tomtit! Image sourced from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/stevex2/13985720272)

Being within the stillness and peace of the forest was wonderful, and exactly the change I needed. The sunsets and night skies were so beautiful too; we even saw the Milky Way with the most incredible stars!

It was super cold too. We had to wear multiple thermal layers, jackets, so many pairs of leggings that we were waddling, and hiking boots for days.


We had such beautiful conversations. We talked about relationships, friendships, mental illnesses, grades, therapy and everything inbetween. At one moment, a friend called me over because we had just received some of our grades back, and us being in a very similar boat brainwise, we talk about how we feel about our tests together. She had done quite well, I hadn’t, but honestly, this talk gave me a whole new outlook. We talked about how it was just one test, one small number, and in a few weeks from now I won’t even be thinking about it. We ended on our grades don’t define us, and heck, I feel so at peace.

We had so much fun too. I hadn’t laughed so much in a long time. I feel so much closer to all my university friends, and even made some new ones too. This is all sounding so cliche, but it’s all so true.

Looking back on how things used to be, this trip was full of differences. In the past, I wouldn’t have even been able to go. The anxiety would have paralysed me, panic attacks would have taken over. Or I wouldn’t have had enough energy to even physically get out of bed. Or I would have been too addicted to blades to venture away. But here, I went. I had the most incredible, wholesome time. I ate with all my friends, and had a pretty good relationship with eating and my body. I overheard a few other people talking about their diets or their body, and would just think, that sucks to be stuck thinking those things, when there is so many more exciting things to be thinking about. There is so much more living to do.


To just get away from everything, to have a new perspective, it has made me so happy. I feel so free. I can see how far away I am from who I was for so many years. I never thought I would get here. I have so much hope for the future.

This playlist is from the driving songs we sung to throughout our adventures, and some songs that have the same vibe. It’s still very short, but I have heaps to add to it:
– Lightning Crashes by Live
– Electric Feel by MGMT
– All Star by Smash Mouth
– Time to Pretend by MGMT
– Walking on a Dream by Empire of the Sun
– Alive by Empire of the Sun
– You can call me Al by Paul Simon
– Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus
– Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John
– What you know by Two Door Cinema Club
– Undercover Martyn by Two Door Cinema Club
– Glad you came by The Wanted
– Chasing the Sun by The Wanted
– Windows Down by Big Time Rush
– Happy Pills by Weathers

There seems to be a common theme here!

I am so happy and so excited about life, about what I get to study, about the future.

For now, it’s so nice getting to shower, sleep in my own bed, and wear normal clothes. But I can’t wait for future adventures (they are already being planned)!

Love & light,
Kaitlyn.

The Night We Met / This Week

Hello!

This past week has flown by in a mixture of midterms, Easter and work.

University has been hectic, with what was meant to be three tests in three days (though it turned out to be only two – thanks cyclone)! There was a statistics test and an environmental risk assessment test, both of which went okay-ish. The biogeography test has been postponed to after the holidays, meaning that I can postpone cramming the morning of for two whole weeks. I have finished planning my two essays for biogeography, one on Rapoport’s Rule, and the other on Bergmann’s Rule, and both of which are super interesting to research, and make me so grateful to be learning what I’m learning.

It’s been plastered all over social media recently and has been hard to miss – 13 Reasons Why caught my attention and I have watched it over the past few days.

I have read a lot of differing opinions on the series; it’s controversial to say the least. Some say it’s glamorising or romanticising of suicide and mental illness, to which I’m confused; did we watch the same show? It’s awful, painful to watch, and immense in truth. There is nothing glamourous about it. Some say it wasn’t realistic, but we all have different experiences. Nobody’s experience with mental illness, sexual abuse, bullying or suicidal thoughts is exactly the same, and that doesn’t make what anybody experiences any less real. Others complain that it was too triggering, which I find to be a pointless complaint as each episode that is particularly distressing, graphic in sexual assult or suicide, contains a very clear trigger warning. There has to be a point where the viewer to must take responsibility for themselves and their wellbeing, and watching it if you are well aware that it will be harmful is a bit silly in my opinion.

In short, I loved it. It’s powerful, it’s messy, it made me cry. I had to look away because it was so awful at times. It’s raw, it’s real, I found it to be relateable. The characters were human, Hannah’s story was familiar, it was brilliantly imperfect. And if nothing else, it got people talking, and that has to be something right?

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(Image sourced from: http://achsnews.com/13-reasons-why-captivates-audiences/why-are-book-fans-skeptical-about-the-dramatic-13-reasons-why-trailer)

Last but not least, the sountrack was so, so good, but then again it may not be everyone’s cup of tea. I’m super excited to find all the songs, but for now my favourite is The Night We Met by Lord Huron.

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(Image sources from: http://screenrant.com/13-reasons-why-premiere-reviews-spoilers/)

Easter over the past couple of days has been beautiful, and I feel very lucky to have gotten to spend time with my beautiful family. I’m finding that as I get older, family time is becoming increasingly important to me. We have a much better relatinship now that I have moved out, and I am so thankful for that. I feel so full of gratitude for my parents and husband, and for all the ways they support me. This weekend involved the cutest vegan chocolate bunnies (with bells on!), playing with the dogs, and Catan, a lot of Catan.

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Being multiple public holidays in a row meant that work has been really busy, especially because all the other shops have been closed. On Good Friday I had a bar shift, and you know how I have been afraid of making coffee? Well that has been squashed. Yay! It was crazily busy, everyone was buying coffee, so much so that we ran out of milk despite stocking up for days beforehand. It really pushed me out of my comfort zone, and has made me feel much less nervous.

Something pretty cool at work happened this week. I walked in to start my shift a few days ago, and my manager said “Kaitlyn, we finally have something here you can eat!”. Turns out, we now sell vegan coconut ice-cream, and they gave me a tub to try after a particularly crazy shift, and it was so good! They are the best.

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Some things I’m looking forward to over the coming week is my ecology field trip in a few days, reading Rupi Kaur’s Milk and Honey, writing some more poetry, and seeing more sunsets. They have been gorgeous lately.

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Love & light,

Kaitlyn.

 

New Music for Better Vibes / This Week

Hello!

This week has become far more wintery, and coming home after a long day to our new, warm room, is such a blessing. It’s all sunbaked, so we feel very much like cats basking in the sunlight.

This week has been full of lots of work (cinemas never stop – Beauty and the Beast, need I say anymore?), lots of study (one test down, three to go!) and some exciting plans for the future!

I’m still not very confident making coffee at work, so when a customer ordered a mochaccino and a cappuccino yesterday, cue intense hand shaking. But it worked out okay! It was such a relief. I even attempted to try make a pretty design with the microfoam, which just ended up being a blob shaped vaguely like Australia. But nevertheless, that’s exactly what chocolate dusting is for!

Lately it has become apparent that I’m still not very good at coping with particular reminders of the past. It’s strange, because I have truly come so far from where I used to be, but then something so little and silly can completely mess with me. It could be the smell of my old bedroom at my parent’s home, a particular song, or the smell of a certain food, and all of a sudden my heart races and I shake uncontrollably, and I just have to get out of the situation. It’s strange. I don’t understand it. But after hearing a song on the radio today that merely sounded similar to one of the songs I can no longer listen to (just thinking about it makes me feel sick), I thought of the idea of finding brand new (well to my ears anyway) music that I have no memories associated with. Hopefully, these new songs can be reminders of good vibes and sunny days.

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(Image sourced from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ou8PXfDhFI)

Stumbling around youtube, I came across Seafret. Their name is what first struck me, it’s just such a fun sounding word. Two other words that are also very fun sounding are “barnacle” and “parsimonious”, but this is getting very unrelated! I began listening to their music, and already I am in love.

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(Image sourced from: https://slm-sintiendolamusica.tumblr.com/post/118215788890/httpswwwyoutubecomwatchv-gvay3izil0s)

Their music videos are beautiful and wild, they remind me of the Lumineers, and if you need anymore convincing just take a look at this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHhkd2B87Q8&list=RDEM0UDJ6LuNGd18QcjmJUatNw&index=5) to have your heart melt.

And damn, that song is pretty darn beautiful too.

The goosebumps are real.

A few nights ago we had the privilege of attending a close friend’s 21st birthday, and it is always so incredibly special to get to spend time with them. Being surrounded by such truly beautiful people is so amazing, how do I even put it into words?

Here’s to good vibes and new beginnings!

Love & light,
Kaitlyn.