Changing Veganism.

Hello!

Today, well tonight, I’m going to write about something I’ve wanted to for a little while now, but I keep putting it off.

I feel so very guilty, and that’s part of the reason why this needs to change, and why I need to change too.


(Image sources from: lemonfed.tumblr.com).

About three years ago now, I became vegan almost overnight, removing all animal products from my diet quicker than you could say cheese. I had very good intentions for doing this; I had done all my research and educated myself on the awfulness of animal agriculture. I knew that I could no longer support the industry with my choices and money, because these sweet animals were no different to the dogs I call family.

However, during this time I was also very unwell, stuck in the depths of an eating disorder that thrived on restriction, and the knowledge of being able to cut out whole food groups beneath a sunny guise of ethics.

And these ethics, they are tormenting me. They truly are. My heart is in veganism, it always will be. It’s an act of peace, and of love, something that feels right to me.

But my heart is also trying to do what’s right in all the ways. For my body and my mind, and for my healing from the past.

I have decided that I need to ensure that I choose not to consume animal products only as a result of my most true, real beliefs, rather than any unresolved fear that I haven’t conquered yet. Therefore, for the time being, I’m making the choice to not label what I eat and how I eat.

I don’t want to have to face the guilt for eating something that I’m not absolutely sure is vegan, that I haven’t scrutinized the label over, anymore. I need to be totally free of this fear and guilt that is ingrained with eating.

For now, I’m choosing to still eat mostly vegan foods, as this is what I truly prefer most of the time, but if I feel like something vegetarian then that’s okay too. I will never return to eating meat, but simply am choosing to reduce my harm to both the animals, and myself this time round too, to as little as possible.

I’ve been putting off talking and writing about this because I’m so afraid of being judged. I’m also afraid of how I will explain this to those around me, how I will explain that my actions no longer always support my steadfast beliefs, or perhaps they do but in a different way. I’m writing this all out because it helps to get it clear in my head.

I know the horrors of our animal-consuming culture, how horrible it is, and that’s what makes this so hard. But this is something that I feel as though I need to go through, and a challenge I need to face, in order to get to where I need to be.

So for now, it’s not goodbye veganism, or even goodbye to my happy little herbivore self. But instead I’m just saying goodbye to a part of me that’s still holding onto a deep set fear from the past, in order to become a happier, healthier little herbivore.


(Image sources from: femmehealing.tumblr.com).

Veganism taught me so much about all the beautiful species that grace our earth, and now it’s time to discover this grace and kindness within a different context too; from myself and outwards.

Love & light,

Kaitlyn.

Animals – Seeing the Sentient Being

A few weeks ago I found out about an art gallery based around animals that was going to be held in my city over the next few days.

image

Number one, an art gallery! Number two, art of animals, in support of animals! It was more than enough to make my little vegan animal-loving soul super excited.

image.jpeg

The art is going to be auctioned off tomorrow night, with all proceeds going towards a local animal sancturary.

image

Each piece was wonderful, and some we wished we could have a home for. Some of my favourites included a painting of a beautiful cow, with the outline of a human reaching towards it, as well as a portrait of a blue heeler.

image

It really emphasized the animals having an existance so rightfully theirs. That they are real, like us, deserving of care and love. The artwork was so powerful, in this sense, demonstrating their value they inherently have, far beyond mere products for our consumption. This overall message was what made the gallery so special.

image

Love & light,

Kaitlyn.

Christmas Plum, Almond, Dark Chocolate & Peanut Butter Vegan Bliss Balls

Today I felt like experimenting in the kitchen, to try out different bliss ball combinations!

These are quickly becoming a common favourite, and we go through them so quickly! They are super quick and easy to make, and trying out different ingrediants depending on what we have left over in the pantry is fun.

Today I tried a slightly different method to last week’s bliss balls too, and resultantly they turned out ┬ámore gooey and soft. We prefer them this way, as opposed to the ones sold in grocery stores, which are more solid.

image.jpeg

Christmas is fast approaching, and I’m trying to decide what to make to share with family! It’s a lot of fun, and these Christmas bliss balls will defintely be on the list.

Ingredients:

– 250g dried pitted dates

– 6 pieces of Whittakers Plum & Almond Dark Chocolate

– 1 tbsp crunchy peanut butter

– 1/4 finely dessicated coconut

Method:

1) Soak the dates in a large bowl with hot water for around 20 minutes.

2) Shard the chocolate finely, and drain the water from the dates.

3) Mash the dates until smooth as can be.

4) Add the chocolate and peanut butter to the dates, and mash all together, until combined.

5) Roll into balls and dip into coconut, making sure each side is fully covered.

And that’s that! All ready to eat and to think Christmassy thoughts.

Love & light,

Kaitlyn.

Vegan Dark Chocolate & Peanut Butter Bliss Balls

Today the baking bug caught me!

Baking is something that I really enjoy doing, yet is the perfectionist in me also finds difficult. The fear of it not turning out perfectly, plus the fear of something going wrong usually prevails. This usually ends up with me not even attempting something, or plummeting into my old depths if it doesn’t go as planned. Either way, it’s unhealthy, and that’s not the person I am growing to be anymore. So today, I was determined to keep squashing this ridiculous part of me, so I abandoned recipes and guides, and instead turned just to what we had in the pantry. Surprisingly, I had fun, and it was a great way to be creative. The bliss balls turned out great, which was just an added bonus!

My partner is working from home this week, and I wanted to make something we could snack on. We haven’t been grocery shopping in a while, and we also grocery shop within a budget, so I didn’t have many ingredients to pick from.

These are the vegan dark chocolate, peanut butter bliss balls that the experiment resulted in! They are soft, rich, were cheap and quick to make, and have a melt in the mouth texture.

image

Ingredients:

All measurements are approximate, as I was doing the whole “just chuck random amounts in a bowl” thing. Therefore, adjustments may be required.

– 250g dried pitted dates (as beautiful as fresh dates are, they are crazy expensive, and dried ones are a fraction of the price and seemed to work out fine!)

– 1tsp crunchy peanut butter (this was all we left, and I’m sure using more would be a fabulous addition too!)

– 12 small squares of vegan dark chocolate (used Whittakers 70% dark)

– 1/4 cup finely dessicated coconut

Method:

1) Place the dates in a large bowl, and fill with hot water until all dates are covered.

2) While the dates are soaking (this makes them softer and easier to shape), chop up the chocolate. I chopped it into shards, but chunks or grating would also work fine.

3) Drain the water from the dates, and place the sharded chocolate and peanut butter in the bowl.

4) Mash it all together! This part got tiring using our flimsy potato masher(which we have never, ever used for potatoes, only bananas!), and perhaps a fork would work better. Mash until it’s a consistancy thats as smooth as can be.

5) Using your hands, roll the mixture into small balls, and then cover in the coconut, making sure every side is fully covered.

And that’s that! The bliss balls are ready to be devoured!

Love & Light,

Kaitlyn.